Scarred Demons
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: It's been a long time since Idate went home, but he has demons he has to face- most of them in the form of his brother, Ibiki.


Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

The very first Idate fanfiction! I'm the one who got Idate on the character list, so I guess it's only fitting. Idate Morino was the first victim of a Naruto filler arc. He's Ibiki's brother and failed the first stage of the Chunin exam and blamed his brother for being unfair. He stole some scrolls, led to believe he'd become a Chunin if he did so by his corrupt sensei Aoi (sound familiar?), and ran from the village with Aoi, confused. Ibiki followed him and they both ended up getting captured by Aoi and a bunch of Rain ninja. Ibiki helped Idate escape, but not before denouncing Idate as his brother. A fire startes and Ibiki has to stay behind to let Idate escape. Aoi gets pissed and tortures Ibiki. Then he brings him back to their base and tortures him some more. That's basically the part of the arc that pertains to Ibiki (this is all flashback from three years earilier in the series).

Sorry for the length of that. Enjoy this one-shot! :)

* * *

Idate took a deep breath and knocked on the thick wood door in front of him. Being back in Konoha was very difficult for him, even after he'd been granted full immunity for his crimes against the Leaf. He sighed. He had to face his demons sometime. Jirocho had encouraged him to do this, and he wasn't about to let him down. He stared at the grains of the door for a long minute as he waited for the apartment door to open.

For a scary, wild moment he thought no one would open the door. He knew someone was in there- he could just _tell_. He knocked again, and the door opened as his knuckles hit the wood.

His stomach plunged and his heart beat wildly when he saw the man in front of him. His big brother. His _brother. _The man who had both plunged him into dakrness and saved him from a world of pain. Staring at him with impenetrable dark eyes.

The last time Idate had seen Ibiki he had been fifteen, and it had been from a distance. Now he was eighteen, and Ibiki was imposing as ever.

His brother was dressed in a black leather overcoat and wore a bandanna and gloves, just like he used to. His nervous brain noticed that instead of being half-fingered gloves they were full now. A minor change. He looked into Ibiki's face and saw that his brother looked much older now, the lines hardening around his mouth and jaw.

Idate took a deep breath. "Hello, big brother."

Ibiki didn't respond at first, and Idate thought he just might slam the door on him. Then he opened it just a fraction wider.

"Come in."

Idate nodded and edged his way in. His brother was like a huge fortress, unyielding and unmovable.

Idate sat in a hard-back chair and tapped his fingers nervously, looking around. Ibiki's apartment was much different than the home they had lived in together. He remembered being raised by his brother, coming home from school every day alone, his big brother getting home late at night to cook him dinner before going straight to bed. Back then their house had been littered with Idate's toys and dirty dishes that Ibiki was always too tired to clean ad Idate too lazy. There had been pictures on the wall of their mother and drawings Idate had done, and it had had a homey, if disorganized, feel.

This apartment was spartan in design, with very few furnishings and colors. There were papers scattered on the table and pills arranged on the counter, but other than that every little thing was in place. Ibiki put tea on the stove and sat across from him, his expression unreadable.

"Why are you here?" His voice was cold, calculating and certainly not welcome, but Idate wasn't leaving without saying what he wanted to say.

"I wanted to talk to you."

Ibiki nodded sharply. "Then talk."

Idate, while not expecting anything more from his brother, was saddened by the weight of his error between them. Then, inexplicably, he felt a nagging complaint in the back of his mind reassuring him that his brother had been unnecessarily harsh with him and that he'd been driven to do what he did.

"I came all this way to talk to you, and that's all you can say?" he replied, before he could stop himself.

Ibiki didn't visibly react. "You're lucky I'm saying this much."

Idate readied himself. He'd been practicing these words in his head for days now. "I wanted to thank you."

Ibiki didn't reply.

"I wanted to thank you for raising me. It can't have been easy, now that I'm looking back on it. I didn't get it at the time, but now I know that you about the age I was when I graduated the Academy when you were orphaned and saddled with a little brother to take care of. I really appreciate what a good brother you were. I regret what I did when I was twelve. It was, frankly, the stupid thing I've ever done in my life, and it had disastrous results. But I don't fully blame myself for it. I was stupid, yes, but I was pushed by you and coerced by Aoi. You were right about me, but you didn't have to lay it out like that. I was only twelve when it happened," Idate paused and looked to see Ibiki's reaction. He rose and got the tea, pouring himself and Idate a cup. Then he motioned for Idate to continue. "I made a mistake," Idate confessed. "Several mistakes. I should've gone back to the village and confessed, but I was too cowardly to do so, so I ran, and in doing so, found the happiness I was looking for. Thank you for everything you've done for me."

Ibiki met Idate's eyes. "Is that all?"

"Huh?"

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Yeah," said Idate, slightly hurt by Ibiki's complete lack of response. "Do you want me to go?"

"Not yet."

Idate sipped his tea to cover his surprise and was hit with a wave of nostalgia. Ibiki used to make this for him when he was upset.

Ibiki met his gaze and slowly, meticulously, pulled off his gloves. Idate found himself drawn to Ibiki's hands, knowing Ibiki never did something irrelevant.

When Ibiki's hands were bare, Idate felt like his lungs were being crushed. He had known about the one scar on his face Aoi had given him. He knew he might have a few burn scars. He had come to terms with that. But this? This was indescribable.

Ibiki's hands were gnarled and scarred beyond imagination, thick pink ridges spanning their base. Thin white lines covered his fingernails where they had been ripped off and then re-grown, and his knuckles were entirely scar tissue from where they had been cut open repeatedly. He turned his hands over and Idate saw that his palms had burn scars and an appearance like someone had poured melted plastic over his hands. Cigarette burns and other incisions encompassed it, and the webbing between his thumbs and first fingers looked like someone had taken scissors to them and then hastily sewed them back together.

"This is an example of the rest of my body," said Ibiki calmly. "The Rain village did this to me. Aoi Rokusho led them to me, and they tortured me for over a month."

Idate was speechless.

"I do not regret raising you. I don't regret any part of it, even all the work I had to do at a young age. I would've grown up sooner or later, and you were a worthy cause to spend my time on. I enjoyed being your older brother, your protector. I do not regret my profession, or any of the times I've had to do because of it. I don't even regret the time I spent being tortured, because I gained to confidence to know that I _cannot _break. I do not regret chasing you after you stole from this village, my home. I _do_ regret speaking to you so harshly, and it has haunted me many nights. I know I was right about you, and so do you. You were not going to be a good ninja, a happy ninja. You have to know why you're doing what you're doing in order to accept that. I don't regret much of it, and I know why you did what you did. Is that enough?"

It was the most words Idate had heard come out of Ibiki's mouth in ten years. "Yes, that's enough," He hesitated, the guilt of the consequences of his actions weighing on him more. "Your hands...are they really..? Is the rest of your body really...?"

Ibiki removed his headband and showed Idate, and he felt sick. "It's all my fault," he whispered. "All this time I didn't know. I'm so sorry, big brother..."

Ibiki replaced his headband. "Why? You didn't pulled the knife across my arm. You weren't the bad guy there. Even the Rain just wanted information, although they went about obtaining it in a rather inhumane manner."

"If I hadn't..."

"There is no point in dwelling on ifs."

Idate scuffed his shoe. "I lied, brother. It's _not _enough for me. I need to know. How badly were you hurt, if you'll tell me?"

"I don't think you really want to know."

"I do, I swear."

"Will you be able to live with yourself?"

"I'll find a way."

"That's not the answer I want," replied Ibiki sternly. "I want a true answer from my sibling. Will you be able to live with yourself?"

"Yes."

"Then I will tell you."

And he did, recounting stoically every detail of his imprisonment, the torture, the beatings, the physiological abuse, the rape. He didn't blink at Idate's reactions, just recounted the story with scary accuracy and disassociation. He didn't lie or tone it down, giving Idate exactly what he asked to hear. When he finished their tea was gone and the sun was setting.

"...All because of me."

"Al because of a manipulative bastard working for the Rain...and because of you."

"Ibiki?"

"What?" Ibiki had longed pulled on his gloves, and was now washing the inside of the teapot, his face emotionless.

"Do you think I could come by every once and a while?"

"Why would you want to do that? There's a lot of bad things that happened between us. You won't be able to get past them."

"I know. Just every once and a while."

"I can't promise I'll be here. I'm a busy man."

Idate smiled. "So yes?" Inside he was hurt, scared, and angry. He had had no idea what Ibiki had been through, and now he wanted to make it up to him, the sacrifice he had made for his brother.

"I suppose so."

Idate watched his brother for a second, the tall, broad-shouldered man with his back to him as he washed their dishes. He used to think he had no flaws, and now, although he knew better, his thoughts about his brother had just been elevated, even as he was trying to keep from blaming himself for Ibiki's pain.

He turned the door and walked out, finally a free man.

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Did you like it? I thought it was a little corny, but tell me what you thought? Reviews are love!


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